American Idol Top 5 Results Show, Season 8, Wednesday April 29, 2009 Rat Pack Night!

Wow! The show started with us being informed that the spareness of Taylor Hicks, ‘The Most Failed Idol Ever’, would be on display tonight.  I should have taken a valium before trying to watch his frantic stage presentation.  Natalie Cole should be good though.

The group song seemed unusually good tonight now that we have gotten rid of the chaff.  I wonder if they are performing live now that all the contestants are very good singers or if they are still lip-syncing.

I felt like Idol was wasting my time, once again, when they showed the contrived cake baking segment.  I just don’t care about this stuff at all.  It’s like putting Lil’s baby on stage early in the competition.  There’s nothing real about it, and in a competition that falls somewhere between a talent show and a popularity contest, it comes seems like it gives some of the contestants an unfair opportunity to pick up popularity votes..

When Ryan started separating the contestants, I knew he would put Adam on the spot.  However, I was blown away by the bottom three when I saw it was Adam, Kris and Matt.  I was also a little disappointed, and fearful that Adam might be another Chris Daughtry.  I did have one question.  Why have a bottom three at this point?  Wouldn’t a bottom two be a lot more appropriate.  Also, Ryan is an ass.  Period.

I swear that I heard Natalie Cole was at death’s door with hepatitis C a couple of weeks ago.  If that was the case, she recovers quickly.  It was not the best performance I’ve every seen on the show, but compared with a lot of the tripe they have rolled out on Wednesday night this season, it was great.  I like it when she sings her father’s stuff.

I sort of owe Taylor Hicks a little bit of an apology.  He was not bad at all, and his song was very listenable.  I am not sure what his target audience is with that song.  I guess he is a country artist now, maybe.  I also guess being in Grease means he is not as failed as I thought either.  But, let’s face it, he was no real pop idol.

Kris got to sit down next, and I began to have some real fear that Adam would go home.  Oh,my!  Daughtry…Melinda…Jennifer Hudson…Adam Lambert?  Please say it isn’t so.  Matt, I like you, but you just do not compare to Adam (neither do the others for that matter).

Jamie Foxx proved that anyone can sound like an idiot with a voice harmonizer.  The voice harmonizer is simply a musical abortion.  Please, please stop using them.  There is nothing good or cool about it.  It ruined “Crimson and Clover” and nothing good has been done with it since then.  If you like that, why don’t you give a Grammy to Jamie Foxx’s computer?

Matt looked defeated as they came back from the commercial break, and in the end, it was Matt that went home.  I guess it’s time for the Adam fans to actually pick up the phone and vote.  I usually don’t, but I will from now on.  Breathe a sigh of relief, and vote next week.

American Idol Top 5, Season 8, Tuesday April 28, 2009 Rat Pack Night!

Tonight’s theme was ‘Standards from the Rat Pack Era’.  That was sort of a scary theme for the show.  For some reason, Jamie Foxx was the mentor, and Ryan went out of his way to convince us that Foxx is a musician.  But, shouldn’t the mentor have a few skins on the wall?  I guess Lady Gaga will be the mentor next week.

I don’t know what Paula was wearing, but it looked like she had two giant sets of red lips on top of her boobs.  Who dresses the people?  I’ve got a scary feeling that the wardrobes are just another product placed in the show, but these are being sold by awful designers who see their professions as a bit.

Kris Allen, “The Way You Look Tonight”– I knew he could sing this song well, and he did not let me down.  It was a little slow, but his vocal was perfect.  The inflection was great.  When then beat kicked in, I did not love it a much, but it ended very well.

The judges also loved it, except for Simon.

Allison Iraheta, “Someone To Watch Over Me”– The was a good choice for her.  Her affected style should fit right in.  Her smokers voice showed through a little, in a was I did not like, and she had very little diction.  This was probably because she put an ‘H’ sound at the beginning of all her words.  The notes, however, were very good.

The judges loved it, and Kara called for her to be in the finals.  Why don’t we back that train up a little, and let her have more than one great performance before we do that.  Simon was less impressed and said that she could be trouble.

Matt Giraud, “My Funny Valentine”– When I heard that he was singing this song, I thought, “What?  What a weird song for a guy to sing.”  I also remembered Melinda singing this so well a couple of years ago, and wondered if he had a chance of doing as well as she did.  Jamie Foxx called him back ‘after the cameras were done filming’, but they were obviously still filming, because I was watching it.  So, confusing.

His vocal was the best that I have heard him sing, and the best of the night so far.  Greatness.

Obviously Randy and Kara decided that it was time for Matt to go.  Kara with a comment that can only be described as one of the most incredibly backward statements ever uttered on the show said that it was unemotional.  Simon loved it.

Danny Gokey, “Come Rain or Come Shine”– Jamie Foxx was a crazy person as he gave advice for this song.  There was nothing to really to complain about in this song.  The vocal was good, but this song came across like a lounge act.  It was definitely not a vocal showcase for him.  When the beat picked up, I expected him to start stripping.  It was alright, but not my favorite song that he has sung.

Kara is starting to beat me.  The judges loved it.  I must be having an off night.

Adam Lambert, “Feelin’ Good”– I don’t even know how to critique this guy.  He is just too good.  It’s O….ver!

The judges loved it once again.

If I have to pick someone to go home, I will pick Allison.

 

 

 

 

American Idol Top 7 part 2 Results Show, Season 8, Wednesday April 22, 2009, Disco Night!

Find my latest American Idol article here.

Tonight we are going to get the results from last night’s Disco themed show, and I find myself filled with trepidation.  With seven remaining and two to go home, it seems to be the perfect set up for a shocking departure.

Paula taught the contestants to dance like it was 1989.  What was up with that?  You know I remember when I used to get Paula defenders every time I took a shot at her.  That doesn’t happen any more.  I read today that her contract is up at the end of the year.  Bye.  By the way, her choreography was silly and awful.  They need to take those Grammy’s back.  Was that just to distract us from the fact that the group song is no longer being sung live?

Ryan quickly dispatched Lil Rounds to no one’s surprise.  Good.  I did wonder what he meant when he said, “We need someone like you in this competition.”  What did he mean, Black?  I am so confused, and I will get a ton of hits on my American Idol Racist story again.  It always depresses me when it happens that way.

I did not care to get the names of the two old women guest singers who sang so terribly early in the show.  The phone rang and I missed their names, and I decided that I just could not rewind and relive that (live is not the right word).  Then we were forced to listen to a top five bad act ever on Idol, K.C. and the Sunshine Band.  Words fail me.  No, do not Google this and watch it.  Just let it go.  Do it for Earth Day (just kidding).

Kris was safe, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Adam was safe, and no one was surprised.  Danny was declared safe, and at that point, I did not really care what happened.  Anoop was to the bottom three (There were only two at this point, Ryan).

Ryan’s bit of always trying to cause tension is so clumsy it makes want to turn the show off.  SHUT UP AND READ THE CARD!  You are not smart enough to be clever!  Matt was safe, and Allison was included in the bottom three.  I wonder of the judges regretted wasting the save last week when they saw Anoop and Allison sitting their waiting their fate.

David Archuleta was the ex-Idol guest for the night. It was refreshing compared with the earlier acts, but pretty pitchy throughout, and the falsetto was not easy on the ears.  It was OK, but I definitely wouldn’t be buying his album after that performance.  Oh yeah, that’s why David Cook won.

Anoop was sent home, even though he did pretty well this week.  The truth is, we are at that point, and a good singer will be going home every week at this point until Adam wind in a few weeks.

American Idol Top 7 part 2, Season 8, Tuesday April 21, 2009 Disco Night!

Find my latest American Idol article here.

It’s Disco Night on Idol, and while this would normally scare me, I find myself looking forward to hearing Kris and Adam.  Adam has already proved he can sing disco with “Funky Town”, and Kris has shown that he can sing Michael Jackson, and if you can do his stuff, you can sing disco.  Adam looked like he was going to sing something from Saturday Night Fever, and I found myself getting excited to hear it.

Lil Rounds, “I’m Every Woman”- She had absolutely no diction.  I couldn’t understand a word that she said, so I would not know if she even got the lyrics right.  She was flat again, and overall, it sounded like a train wreck.  I hated that.  She is like a stale loaf of bread.  Time to through her out.

Paula apologized for her, but the rest of judges hated it as much as I did.

Kris Allen, “She Works Hard for the Money”- I thought he could sing this, but I didn’t know if the judges would accept him singing it.  It was weird with a reggae beat.  He was a little flat at times in the verses.  He sang the rest of the song well, but in the end, it just seemed off-balance to me with a strange sound that made you pay more attention to that fact than his performance.  He definitely made it his own.

The judges loved it in a Santana sort of way.

Danny Gokey, “September”- He screamed the first note, and did not get completely on top of it, but then he did a very passable job of an Earth, Wind and Fire song.  It was really good.

The judges mostly liked it a lot, but Simon felt it was awkward.

Allison Iraheta, “Hot Stuff”- My first question was, “Where is the Duesenberg that she stole the inner tube she was wearing from?”  However, the vocal and performance were great, if a little screamy.

The judges liked the vocal, but did not love the arrangement as much.

Adam Lambert, “If I Can’t Have You”- I knew he could sing the Bee Gees if anyone could.  The song started out slow, and beautiful.  The verses were great, but the chorus was a little overdone.  That being said, it was as amazing as ever.  This contest is over.  Period.

The judges barely contained themselves.  Paula might have been crying.

Matt Giraud, “Stayin’ Alive”- This was very interesting version of a Bee Gees song.  He kept the feel and beat of a Bee Gees song while singing it in his rough-voiced style.  He was on pitch, and his diction was amazing.  I liked it a lot.

The judges were mixed.  Simon seemed a little overly harsh.

Anoop Desai, “Dim All The Lights”- The vocal was spot on, but the arrangement seemed like Billy Ocean sings Donna Summer.  It was OK, but I did not like arrangement.

The judges except for Simon liked it a lot.  Simon thought it was mediocre and horrible.  He was also a little harsh.

Lil Should go, but who knows who the other one will be.  I guess it will probably be Matt or Kris.  I just hope it is not Kris or Danny.

Is This Funny or Scary? Global Warming Blamed on Fat People

Remember, “the science is settled.”  This is the phrase that is hurled any time a person questions any part of Global Warming ‘science’.  The inevitable result is that there is no governor on the rhetoric that comes out of the Global Warming camp.  It just keeps getting ratcheted up over and over.

A story on Fox News entitled, “Do Fat People Cause Global Warming?” is a good example of this.  In the article ‘fat people’ are charged with the sin of causing global warming.  The people saying this are providing no statistics regarding the percentage of greenhouse gases produced by ‘fat people’ verses ‘skinny people’ or the overall percentage of effect on the planet made by fat people compared to other producers of greenhouse gasses such as volcanoes, the oceans, all other animal life on earth, uncontrolled population growth in third world countries, children born out of wedlock, and all industrial production.

No, the target today is fat people.  They are an easy target, of course.  Everyone loves to blame the fatty, and they are a convenient target for any joke or attempt at physical humor.  I would wager that the percentage of extra CO2 gas produced by fat people would be many times less that one percent of the produced CO2 gas.

This is just another example of Global Warming alarmists trying to get attention and throwing their weight around.  The scary thing is that when they blame, they generally attempt to punish or control those who are being blamed.  I supposed their solution for this will be to tax fat people or products that make a person fat in order to buy carbon credits in order to offset their awful fatness.  Soon we will see a sticker on the counter at McDonalds that will say “35 cents out of every dollar spent here goes to taxes.”

If you do not see a Pandora’s Box being opened here, you are blind.  These ideas will open the door for all sorts of controls on people’s lives including eventual population controls because uncontrolled populations are a much greater ‘threat’ to the planet than fat people.  And who will take the brunt of these new attitudes, the responsible Western democracies that care.  Because, trying to implement these ideas in countries that have no responsibility of their own or in socioeconomic areas of Western democracies where large numbers of children are born out of a marriage, would seen as a racist policy.

Miss California Carrie Prejean is Ripped off by a Gay Guy

It seems to me that the next logical step for the Miss USA pageant will be to recruit people of different religions as judges and allow them to ask pointed religious questions of the contestants.  Then, when someone does not hold the same religious views as the judge from Saudi Arabia, for instance, he can look disgusted and dismissive, and we will all say to ourselves, “Boy, she doesn’t have a chance.”  He won’t give her his vote.

There is really no difference.  Allowing Perez Hilton (vomit) to ask such a pointed question about gay marriage knowing that he is strongly opinionated gay man, and that most of Americans hold views contrary to his on the subject, shows that the producers of the program have no regard for their audience or the integrity of the pageant itself (that seems like an oxymoron).

After hearing her answer, Hilton should have disqualified himself from the voting.  But, beyond that, I thought the purpose of the questioning was to see if these young ladies were able to communicate effectively when put on the spot.  If that was the case, it is clear that Carrie Prejean could communicate well, and her honest answer that ‘she was raised to believe that a marriage was between a man and a woman” shows a good amount of personal integrity.

Is a beauty contest the forum for this debate?  Of course not.  When this occurs, the show is reduced to an agenda pushing event.  Imagine Billy Graham on the show as a guest judge.  Do you think people would accept the same question coming from him?

The good news is that Carrie Prejean did more to promote herself by giving this answer than she ever could have done otherwise.  The bad news is that Hollywood has a long memory, and she will have a lot of opportunities lost as a result of sticking to her values.  It’s a shame that we are at the point where it is better to be a fraud and lie, than it is to stand up and support the things you believe in.

The best news for us all is that the shelf-life of these programs is about up, and it will not take a lot more alienating to drive the rest of Miss USA’s audience away.  Good.

What’s up with Susan Boyle?

I often have an adverse reaction to hype.  So, the fact that I do not hate Susan Boyle, and the incredible amount of hype she has generated in the past couple of weeks, is surprising to me, but the fact is, she has a pretty good voice.  The main problem that I have is the over-hyped situation associated with her.

I thought about the situation, and have come up with a few theories as to why this situation has blown up as much as it has.  Part of this has to do with the American Idol effect (Yes, I know she was on Britain’s Got Talent).  These types of programs offer several different stereotypical contestants.  Two of the main types are the ‘serious good contestant’ and the ‘complete bit contestant.’

The serious contestant is the one that the show thinks has a real possibility of competing.  They are usually very good singers, and average looking to decent looking or very good looking and decent singers.  Sometimes they offer the ‘total package’- the guy or girl who is both very good looking and a very good performer.  They go far in the competition.

The bit contestant is the one whose sole reason for being on the program is that he or she did not get enough attention as a child (no father figure), and has decided to make up for it in one impulsive spectacle that at best makes us laugh, but mostly makes us wonder why they, and the producers of the show are wasting our time.

Then, there is Susan Boyle.  I do not mean to be cruel, but it is not secret that she is not beautiful, quite the opposite.  As I said before, she can sing.  But is her voice that great?  Aren’t there lots and lots of singers out there who can sing that song just as well as she can?  The answer is ‘yes’.  So, what happened that catapulted her to fame so quickly?  I believe a lot of it had to do with expectations.  Those types of programs are built on expectations.

If  Adam Lambert, who has raised expectations very high on American Idol, came out this week and simply did a decent job, but not the great job (as he usually does), the judges would probably savage him because he would not be meeting their expectations for him.  While a guy like Scott MacIntyre, who recently left the show, received praise for doing a decent, but not great job after having a couple of off weeks.  He had lowered their expectations, and when he did better, he received praise.

This effect is multiplied in the case of Susan Boyle.  She came out, and the audience heard the collective giggles.  She looked silly, and she acted a little silly as well.  The expectation was that she would be one of the bits that provide a moment of comic relief on the show, and when she came out an sang a very nice version of the song “I Dreamed a Dream,” she so exceeded everyone’s expectations, that it was made to be more than it was.

The truth is that if a beautiful woman who looked like she belonged on the stage, had come out on the stage and performed as well as Susan, it would not have had nearly the impact that this performance did.  It all had to do with expectations. 

There is another factor that also helps.  There are lots of women out there who want to do what she has done.  They are sitting at home wishing that there was more to their lives.  For these women, Susan Boyle makes their dreams seem more achievable.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with that.

I hope she does well, and I hope that she cashes in quickly.  Eventually, I see her working in the theatre where there are lots of nice seats far enough away that all you really have to worry about is her voice.

American Idol Results Show Top Seven Wednesday, April 15, 2009 Season 8

Find my latest American Idol article here.

The group song tonight was Maniac, and it was obvious that they were lip-synching again.  It even sounded like they had enhanced the sound by adding extra vocal tracks.  With the justification that the Idol producers have used for this so far, I wonder if they will keep doing it when they go on tour.  It’s the same thing.

I try to ignore all of the product placement and cross-promotion on the show, but they waste an incredible amount of my time doing it.

Jennifer Hudson was the first musical guest this evening.  Compared with some of the other tripe they have been rolling out on the Idol stage in recent weeks, she was great.  It was not my favorite style of music, but I would not turn it off if it was playing on the radio.  I cannot say as much for Lady Gaga or Flo Rida.

Miley Cyrus was the next musical guest.  It started better than any of the non-idol related guests that they have had in weeks.  It sounded very country which was good, but she had some big diction issues and sounded pretty nasally on the chorus.  I will take this over most of the other guests that they have foisted on us lately.

I was surprised to see that Allison was not in the bottom three, not because she did badly, but because her song was a little boring, and there were so many other contestants that did well last night.  I was even more surprised to see Anoop in the bottom three.  He was very good last night.  No one was surprised to see Lil in the bottom three.  Finally, I was expecting Matt to be in the bottom three, but at this point it was just a numbers thing.  Anoop got to sit down first, as it should have been.  I was surprised and saddened to see Lil stay and see Matt told that he had the least votes.

However, I did not think that they should have used the save on him.  The save, as I understand it was intended to right a wrong, and save a contestant that had a chance of winning the competition.  Matt was not this.  Simon said so, but the hens (Paula and Kara) were cackling and soon it was clear that they would be using the save.

I told a friend earlier this week that I believed that judges would use their save no matter what happened just because they had one regardless of the viewer’s vote even if the contestants were voted off the show in the order that they should have been.  Nothing good will come of this, mark my words.  Now there is almost a thirty percent chance that one of the really good contestants will go home next week, and next week is disco week.  Pathetic.

American Idol Top 7 Tuesday, April 14, 2009, Season 8

Find my latest American Idol article here.

We were told at the beginning, after Ryan had wasted four minutes babbling, that there would only be two judges commenting after each performance.  I don’t like this idea at all, because it means that Simon will not be heard half the time.  Simon correctly identified the girls as the problem (fire one or both, no problem), but they quickly wasted even more time with a three minutes on a Quinten Tarantino montage.  Even stranger was the fact that Tarantino was the guest judge.  What does he know about it?  Of course, the theme was movie themes.

Allison Iraheta, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”– This was not her best by a long shot.  It was breathy, and affected, as usual.  Mainly, it seemed flat and fairly underwhelming, while at the same time coming across as indulgent and unforgettable.  This could be a bad combination with her leading off the show.

Paula and Simon complimented her.

Anoop Desai, “Every Thing I Do, I Do It For You”– He sounded great at the beginning, and carried that through to the first chorus.  When he held out the big notes, they still had strong, pure, even tones that sounded just great.  It was his best in a couple of weeks.

Randy and Kara loved it also.

Adam Lambert, “Born to be Wild”– Why are we even continuing with this farce of a competition?  It was not my favorite vocal by him, but it was still an amazing performance.  It always seems like a concert when he’s on stage.  I can see why someone would not like it, but it was still incredible.  I think he is the best performer that they have ever had on the show.  Period.

Paula said he was one of the bravest contestants that they have ever had.  Simon liked the vocal but did not like the performance as much.

Matt Giraud, “To Really Love Woman”– I thought this song would be good for him, and it was.  It was not as pretty as Brian Adams’ version, but that is not Matt’s style.  It got out of pitch one time, but for the most part it was very good.

Randy and Kara did not like it as much as I did.  They insightfully pointed out that when you change the melody of a great song, and add runs, they have to be perfect, and they were not.

Danny Gokey, “Endless Love”– I thought this would be a hard song for one person to sing.  It got very good at the chorus.  It was his best vocal in a couple of weeks.  It built, and got prettier as it went along.  Very nice.

Simon oddly criticized him for singing it well, and singing it traditionally.  Paula loved it.

Kris Allen, “Falling Slowly”– I did not know this song, but it sounded great at the beginning.  The harmony was the best that I have heard from the background singers this season.  This vocal was simply beautiful.  This tone of his voice was amazing, and the emotion was great.

Randy was a complete idiot.  He needs to take that tin ear of his back to the place where he got it.  Kara rightly loved it.

Lil Rounds, “The Rose”– This is an easy vocal.  I know because I can sing it.  That is usually how I determine the difficulty of anything on Idol.  The beginning seemed disjointed.  It was another one of those songs that need tell a story, the way she cut it up was weird.  Otherwise it was pitchy and a mess.

Paula was nonsensical.  Simon hated the song choice.

It is time for Lil to go.

Hopping on the Bandwagon

The day after the election, I went to a local fabric store with my wife.  While she was browsing, and I was futilely looking for something to catch my interest, I looked up and saw four full bolts of Barrack Obama fleece that I assume people were supposed to make blankets with.  I was confused and appalled.  Since that time, I have felt like I was being bombarded with Obama products.  The latest Obamination being the Obama Chia Pet.

So, in a effort to add my own instrument to the cacophony, I decided the time had come to bring together America’s new savior and the Savior of men.  Enjoy.