Yesterday, I watched as once again, it was proved that it is more important to have heart than talent. It was the poorest showing by a Cowboy team in the biggest game that I can remember. The worst part is that this team is indeed very talented, and this year, the NFL is as wide open as I ever remember it.
As I sat watching the game (if you want to call it that), I cam up with some nicknames that I thought might be appropriate for several of the players that graced the Cowboy’s roster this year. Enjoy:
Tony Romo– “Intentional Grounding Gump“- There is so much to consider with this guy. He can not seem to hit the broad side of a barn, and when ever teams keep him in the pocket, he has no idea what he should do. The whole ‘golly-gee’ bit was cute at first, but he needs to realize that he is now a $60,000,000 quarterback on the biggest team in sports. I really wonder about how bright he really is. I keep expecting him to tell Adrea Kramer that ‘life is like a box of chocolates.’
T.O.- “Big Mouth”– Shut up and catch the ball every now and then.
Roy Williams- “Big Nothing”- And, that’s exactly what the Cowboys got for their trade with the Lions.
Flozell Adams- “Big Early”- No one commits as many illegal motion penalties as the big guy.
Jason Witten- “Little Early”- No one, that is, except for our starting tight end.
Andre Gurode- “Surprise!”- He has the uncanny ability to surprise defenses as well as his own quarterback with his ill-timed snaps. And, if Romo looks ready, he’ll just snap it right over his head.
Nick Folk- “90 Degrees”- Possesses the strange quality of being able to kick the ball at a right angle. This is not so bad for Cowboy fans though, because in this case the opposing team only gets to start on the 40 yard line.
Sam Paulescu- “Minus 20”- This name refers to the 20 yards that the Cowboys give up in field position because this guy is punting instead of Matt McBriar.
Pacman Jones- “Latitude”- He only runs East/West.
Terrence Newman- “Tunnel Vision”- This refers to Newman’s innate ability to stick to a receiver like glue. watching his eyes intently as the ball sails over his own should and into the receiver’s arms.
Miles Austin- “What The Hell Were You Thinking On That Pitch!”
Feel free to leave any that you might think of.
Filed under: Football Stuff, Funny, General Topics, Hot Opinions, Sports, Television | Tagged: Adams, Austin, Cowboys, Dallas, Dallas Cowboys, Eagles, Flozell, Flozell Adams, Football, Funny, Gump, Gurode, Humor, Humour, Jason Witten, Kicker, McBriar, Miles Austin, Newman, NFL, Nick Folk, Nicknames, Owens, Pacman, Paulescu, Philadelphia, Punter, Quarterback, Receiver, Romo, Roy Williams, Sports, Television, Terrell Owens, Terrence Newman, Tight End, TO, Tony Romo, Witten | Leave a comment »