Girl’s Night at Idol Separates Contestants

Find my latest American Idol article here.

Last night’s female Idol opener reminded me more of seasons past.  The cream rose to the top and the lard (see Joanne) sank to the bottom.  It should be much easier for the fans to weed through the girls than the guys this season.

Kristy Lee Cook- Her uninspiring version of “Rescue Me” was one of the low-lights of the night.  It was upbeat, as the first act on Idol has to be each week, but it lacked any style.  Her song was just as bad as Colton’s the night before for the same reasons.  All her notes were in tune, but it was very vanilla.  If she does not show some personality soon, she will be gone, and the only way she will be getting that horse back is in a bottle of Elmer’s.

Joanne Borgella-  First of all, I want to address this “Plus-sized Model” moniker that she has labeled herself with.  Note to everyone:  “Plus-sized Model” is just code for “Fat Chick”.  Oddly you do not ever hear of a guy being referred to as a “plus-sized model”.  He’s just fat (believe me, if there is one thing I know about, it’s fat), and, so is Joanne.  The Plus-size comment is just to make her feel better about it.  As far as her version of “Say a Little Prayer for You” goes, it was terrible.  Randy and Paula were awfully (and undeservedly) nice to her in their critiques.  Simon was right.  I watched it twice.  It was pitchy from beginning to end, a complete mess.  She could not seem to hit or hold her notes.  If things go as they should tonight, she will be able to have another Twinky and go back to her old job.

Alaina Whitaker- “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday”: One of the best of the night.  She had a strong voice, hit most of her notes, and was good on stage.  We should see her again.

Amanda (Skunk Girl) Overmyer- After promising not to sing any more Janice Joplin songs, she came out and sang a Van Morrison song just like Janice Joplin.  The judges, especially Paula attempted to cover for her by saying that she was not a one-trick-pony and was sincere.  For me, I felt exactly the opposite.  She appeared to be extremely affected (fake) and is definitely a one-trick pony.  She will continue to get pumped up by the judges and will be this year’s Mikalah Gordon, Kevin Covais or Gina Glocksen, a person who the judges allow to go much further in the competition that she should.

A note to Idol contestants and judges:  People do not come on Idol and attempt to sing Bob Dylan songs.  First of all, Dylan is polarizing, you either love his frog voice or you hate it, and more people hate it than love it.  But, Dylan gets a pass.  Whether it’s due to his song writing ability or just the fact that he is Dylan, he gets respect.  Idol contestants, you are not Bob Dylan and any attempt by you to sound like Dylan is going to sound like a turd.  Don’t sing Dylan, and in the same way for the same reasons, you should not sin Janice Joplin.  Her voice is too stylistic, and you cannot pull it off.

Amy Davis- There are not enough syllables in atrocious to appropriately attach meaning to her version of “Where the Boy’s Are.”  This one also falls in the category of “What the hell was she thinking?”  It was a terrible song choice and a complete mess.  Flat and weak most of the time, and she could not even hit the notes at the end.  She should also go tonight.

Brooke White-  Her version of “Happy Together”, though not as good as David Cook’s the previous night, was still her best vocal so far.  She was a little flat on some of the long notes, but all-in-all it was a good performance.

Alexandrea Lushinton (sounds like a bad name from a soap opera or the board game Clue)-  “Spinning Wheel”:  She had the best stage work of the night.  He voice was good, but her high notes sounded a little like bad male falsetto (this may have been the song).  Her main problem, and I’ll go ahead and throw Asia’h into this category also was attitude.  Ladies, you are not Beyonce, yet.  Please do not act like you are.  If you persist in doing this in front of the cameras each week, America will be more than happy to prove to you that you are not yet Beyonce.

Kady Malloy- “Groovy Kind of Love”-  I completely disagreed with the judges on this one.  It was a good song for her, and she sang it well.  He vocal was one of the best of the night.  Note to Simon:  This song was redone in the 1990’s by a Brit and was a hit, Mr Contemporary.

Asia’h Epperson-  “Another Little Piece of My Heart”- Here is a girl who sang a Janice Joplin song, sang it well and made it her own.  She used the stage well, but her performance (especially the facial features) looked very affected.  I do not think she was quite as good as either she or the judges thought, but she was still one of the better singers of the night.

Syesha Mercado-  Her choice of “Tobacco Road” seemed an odd, since she had the whole 60’ to choose from.  It was not her best vocal that we have seen, but was still one of the top two of the night.  She needs to steer clear of songs that make her sing in the low part of her register, and focus on ones that showcase her great pipes.  I still believe she is the best female singer in the contest, she just chose a bad song this night.

Carly Smithson (Tat-girl)-  I don’t ever remember hearing “The Shadow of Your Smile” before, and I am sure that if the original artist had sang it this well, it would have been a bigger hit than it was.  I really want to hate this girl, this song was excellent, the best of the night by a good margin.  Simon was an idiot on this one.  However, it seems like someone who is vain enough to do that (tattoo) to her right arm would have seen the orthodontist years ago and had that horror show of a mouth fixed.  It only seemed like a little while after his season was over that Elliot Yamin had his grizzly smile fixed.

 

So tonight I am hoping to see Garret Haley, Jason Yeager, Joanne Borgella and Amy Davis hit the road.

  

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: