I Truly Hate Michael Moore

This week when people die, or lose all they have as a result of a terrible natural disaster with the name Gustav, I’m sure it will be comforting for the victims to remember that Michael Moore is standing in the corner laughing at their expense.  What a bastard.

On the Keith Olbermann’s MSNBC show he said that the timing of Hurricane Gustav is “proof that there is a God in heaven.”  Really. 

To say this is offensive is an understatement.  It shows that this guy- who purports himself to be some champion of the little man- really does not care about the little man at all.  It’s just as we suspected all along, this slug of a person has one agenda, and that is damaging the Bush administration and conservatism.  Oh, and I forgot making more money to feed his fat, cretin face with.

Unfortunately, the truth is that there are lots of liberals who feel the way that he does, and they should all be ashamed.  On the other hand I guess I am supposed to feel bad that Ted Kennedy is going to die too.  Good luck with all that.

The simple truth is that bad things happen.  I just wonder how the GOP got saddled with the responsibility to keep America safe from all natural disasters. 

 

Wow! That rant felt almost cleansing.

 

Top 100 Creepy People #10-1

Creepy Person #10- Steve Buscemi-

He is one of the great character actors of our time, and I really like it when he is in a movie, but those eyes, those eyes!  If you want somebody to know who you are talking about just say, “you know, Crazy Eyes.”  They’ll know who you mean.  I feel like I am selling the creepiness of that smile, and those teeth short.  They are the icing on the creepy cake.  He plays a good villain also, but you will never under any circumstances see this guy as the leading man in a love story.

 

 

Creepy Person #9- Billy Bob Thornton-

His well documented marriage to Angelina Jolie was filled with creepiness including both of them wearing vials of each other’s blood around their necks at all times so that they would always be close.  His mother was a psychic and two cousins were professional wrestlers.  He is a raging obsessive compulsive, and has a fear of both antique furniture and certain types of silverware.  His character, Carl, in Sling Blade will always be one of the all-time creepy characters in film.

 

Creepy Person #8- Anton LaVey-

Do I really need to say more than the fact that he founded the Church of Satan in the U.S.?  I don’t think I’ll include a picture of him.  They are out there if you want to look at him, and they are definitely creepy.

 

Creepy Person #7- Charles Manson-

I’m sure that if I included every serial killer who deserves to be on a creepy list, that is all that would be on here, and putting together this list would have been a lot less fun.  So, Manson and Dahmer (#6) will serve as a representative sample of all serial killers placed on the list where they belong, near the top.  Manson is creepy outside of being a serial killer.  The whole cult leader status, the brainwashed followers, some of whom are still under his spell, the swastika carved into his forehead, and little ditties like, “if I ever started killing people, there’d be none of you left.”  Top all of that off with a string of killings made in the hope that it would start a race war, and you have a very creepy guy.  I don’t think I’ll put up a picture of him either.

 

Creepy Person #6- Jeffery Dahmer-

He had the whole serial killer thing going for him, but he added to the creep factor by working in homosexuality and cannibalism.

 

Creepy Person #5- Joseph Goebbles/Heinrich Himmler/Nazis in general-

Like the two entries above, I’m sure I could have filled the list with Nazis and their atrocities.  I chose these two to be representative of them all.  Goebbles was minister of propaganda for Hitler and a true believer in all Nazi policies.  In the end, he poisoned himself, his wife and children.  He was also a funny looking guy.  Himmler, on the other hand was the third most powerful man in Germany.  He created the SS, and the Gestapo, and was directly responsible for most of the concentration and death camps during the war.  To call these guys and their policies creepy may be the ultimate understatement as most of their acts would more correctly be called just plain evil.

 

Creepy Person #4- Aleister Crowley-

Crowley was a pioneer for the occult during the late 1800s and early 1900s.  He combined a love of occult magic with sexual perversion, science, drugs and racism.  He wrote several occult works that are still used by evil people today.  His Wikipedia page says, “He gained much notoriety during his lifetime, and was infamously dubbed “The Wickedest Man In the World.”

 

Creepy Person #3- Vlad III the Impaler-

Peter was called ‘the Great,’ Richard was called ‘the Lionhearted,’ Ivan was called ‘the Terrible,’ and Juana was called ‘the Mad,’ but what do you have to do to earn the moniker, the Impaler?  Wikipedia says, “Vlad the Impaler is known for the exceedingly cruel punishments he imposed during his reign.”  His Romanian surname was Drǎculea, and he is the model for the Vampire in Brahm Stoker’s famous work.  In 1459, he had 30,000 of the German settlers (Saxons) and officials of the Transylvanian city of Kronstadt who were transgressing his authority impaled.  His infamy alone earned him one of the top spots on the creepy list.

 

Creepy Person #2- Elizabeth Bathory-

It is a little surprising to find a slightly obscure woman holding one of the top two spots on this list, but once you learn a little bit about this lady and her vain obsession, she becomes a shoe-in. She was obsessed with her youthful complexion, and would go to any lengths to preserve it.  Known as the Blood Countess, she believed that by drinking and bathing in the blood of her young servant girls, she might retain her skin’s youthful appearance.  Other accusations of violence against her servants include:

severe beatings over extended periods of time, often leading to death.

burning or mutilation of hands, sometimes also of faces and genitalia.

biting the flesh off the faces, arms and other bodily parts.

freezing to death.

bad surgery on victims, often leading to death.

starving of victims.

She is accused of killing between 300 and 600 victims over decades of her rule, until her crimes came to light.  However, at this time in Europe, it was not legal to execute royalty, so the solution was to wall her up in her own castle and pass food to her through a slot.

 

Creepy person #1- Crispin Glover-

If you could mine creepy, Crispin Glover would be the mother load.  He is creepy incarnate, to the point that when directors are looking to cast a creepy character, they begin with Crispin.  His creepiness has allowed him to be type-cast in roles that only add to his creepiness such as the remake of Willard (where a crazy guy is friends with at rat) and Drop Dead Sexy (where he plays a crazy hillbilly type who has a crush on a dead girl he helped dig up).  Wikipedia says this, “Glover is known for portraying eccentric people on screen, such as George McFly in Back to the Future, Layne in River’s Edge, the “Creepy Thin Man” in the big screen adaptation of Charlie’s Angels and Willard Stiles in Willard.”  Congratulations to Crispin Glover the creepiest guy in the universe.

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

Lists

 

Top 100 Creepy People #11-20

 

Creepy Person #20- Roman Polanski-

Following in the footsteps of the Academy, I would like to present him with this year’s Lifetime Achievement Award…for Creepiness.  Let’s see.  This guy cannot return to the U.S. because he is under indictment for drugging and raping a 13 year old girl, but as Hollywood has proven, Americans seem to be able to forgive anyone for anything, even if the do not even ask for forgiveness.

 

Creepy Person #19- Mike Nifong-

This story is still fresh in all our minds, but suffice it to say that this guy charged three guys with raping a young woman, and withheld exculpatory evidence even when he knew that they were not guilty in order to further his political career.  As far as I am concerned he (and Duke University) deserve whatever they get, and it probably cannot get bad enough for him to suit me.

 

Creepy Person #18- Jeff Smith

I’m sure that everyone has known a Jeff Smith in their lives.  I knew one in high school myself, but I am talking about the moderately famous Jeff Smith otherwise known as the Frugal Gourmet.  After two of his male assistants charged him with sexual harassment, several more young men who had worked for him charged him with sexual assault.

 

Creepy Person #17- Stephen King

Most of the people from here to the end of the list got there by actually doing something horrible or creepy.  This is not true for Stephen King.  He makes the list on looks and his creepy works of fiction that are his life’s work.  Read Thinner or Carrie tonight.  Yeah, he’s creepy.

 

Creepy Person #16- Mike Tyson-

He speaks so softly for a guy who will threaten to eat you children.  Here we have a guy who could actually kill most people with one punch, but he will still take the time to properly beat or even rape a woman.  Great guy.  He has demonstrated time and again that he has no control over his anger or his impulses and that is a truly frightening and creepy possibility when you look at the guy.  Here are a couple of his more memorable quotes:

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

“Lennox Lewis, I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”

“My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.”

“I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”

To Razor Ruddock: “You’re sweet. I’m going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I’m gonna make you my girlfriend.”

About Tyrell Biggs: “He was screaming like my wife.”

There is much more here, and it’s all great and creepy.

 

Creepy Person #15- Kim Jong Il

This guy actually put the lessons learned from George Orwell into practice.  He has convinced his people that the rest of the world is evil, and that he is saving them from it while taking food that has been either donated by foreign countries to feed his starving people, or that he has blackmailed them out of, and selling it to fund his own excess.  He is single-handedly destabilizing the entire world by proliferating nuclear weapons to irresponsible nations such as Syria and Iran.  He has engineered the kidnappings of several South Korean actors and actresses to force them into making his own films.  I do not have time to attempt a list of the atrocities associated with his government.  And, just look at him.

 

 

I’m so, so sorry. 

 

Creepy Person #14- L Ron Hubbard-

So, this guy writes a paper about how to start up a religion, and then he does it.   I believe in God (the real one), so blasphemy always makes me uncomfortable, but this guy goes one step further by making his own religion, Scientology.  This is a very creepy, kooky, and subversive religion (see the Tom Cruise entry at #47 for more information on this).  He left this world with a very controlling and strange religion that he made-up and for that he scores pretty highly.

 

Creepy Person #13- Michael Jackson-

The look (including the vitiligo), how he is seen with his own children, and the fact that he built a theme park to serve as bait for his own pedophilic version of a reverse ‘Make a Wish Foundation.”  If you do not find this guy creepy, you need to put down that glass of Kool-Aid that you are drinking.

 

Creepy Person #12- Jack Elam-

He was the original ‘Crazy Eye.’  He starred in many Hollywood westerns over his 54 year career.  He looked pretty normal early in his career, but as the years went by his left eye began to attempt to wander off of his face.  His crazy look and longevity earned him high creepy marks.  Try highlighting the picture below of Jack.  It’s truly frightening.

  
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

Creepy Person #11- Jake Gyllenhaal-

Jake is a creepy looking guy, and he gets extra points for being in Brokeback Mountain (especially after Heath Ledge killed himself to wipe away the creepiness that this movie left in his life).  And, if you have not seen Donnie Darko, you haven’t truly seen creepy.  I recommend it, but you should be prepared to be creeped out.

 

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

 

 

 

Lists

Top 100 Creepy People #21-30

Creepy Person #30- Marty Feldman-

I’m sure he was nice guy in real life, but those eyes, those eyes!  Have you ever known a person with unnaturally buggy eyes?  It’s a creepy look.  Multiply that by a factor of seven, and you get Marty Feldman’s eyes.  Oh, then you add an unnatural ability to separately control them much like a chameleon, and there is only one word for it, creepy.

 

 

Creepy Person #29- Richard Fairbrass (the lead singer of Right Said Fred)-

If you do not remember this guy, just watch the video of the band’s one big hit “I’m Too Sexy.”  Oh yeah, it’s creepy.  Top that with the fact that he and the band have been rumored to have spent the last couple of years living on the yacht of a billionaire as his personal ‘boy toys.’

 

Creepy Person #28- Johnny Knoxville-

He brought the show Jackass to the world where among other things, he stapled his own scrotum.  Enough said.

 

Creepy Person #27- Gary Busey-

Gary Busey is just Nick Nolte multiplied by a factor of four.  Hard living and lots of drug use take a toll on a guys looks, but Busey is in another league than most guys.  He also looks dirty most of the time, and you can almost smell the B.O. from the mug shots.  It is rumored that he has even snorted cocaine off of his dog.  He has been accused of beating his wife on two occasions, and.  His most recent role in 2006 had him playing a Jewish-American Doctor who was harvesting organs from Muslims at Abu Ghraib in a Turkish film.  Recently he crashed an on-camera “E” interview with an obviously revolted Jennifer Garner, in which he kissed her without her permission.  Nice.

 

Creepy Person #26- David Duke-

Creepiness often leaves its taint wherever it goes, but it is not just your average creep who can single-handedly sully both a state and two national political parties with his creepiness.  Such, however, is the case with David Duke whose Wikipedia page describes him as, “a former Louisiana State Representative, a candidate in presidential primaries for the Democratic and Republican parties, and former Grand Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.”  What a resume!  He financed a campaign once by writing a creepy book as a woman called Finder Keepers.  The book gives women “advice on vaginal exercises, fellatio, anilingus, and anal sex.”  He founded several White Supremacist organization including the NAAWP (yes, It’s just what you think it would be).  In 2002, he pled guilty to mail fraud and filing a false tax return and was sentenced to 15 months in jail.  There is still a large file on him that includes allegations of illegal use of campaign funds and raising personal funds on false pretenses from his followers.  Perhaps this guy should have scored a little higher than this, but it seems the list just keeps getting worse.

 

Creepy Person #25- Dee Snyder-

If you do not agree with this one, look at the picture below and watch the movie Strangeland, then get back to me.

 

 

Creepy Person #24- Rob Zombie-

While Rob Zombie does not look quite as creepy as Dee, His movie, House of 1000 Corpses, makes Snyder’s movie, Strangeland, look like Mary Poppins.  I do not recommend watching this one to prove that I am right.  You should just trust me on this one.

 

Creepy Person #23- Marylin Manson-

What a trio we have between 25 and 23.  Manson gets the nod due to looks and his personal little tribute to one of the worst serial killers of all time.  I’d rather not even look at him.  You can Google him if you want.

 

Creepy Person #22- Henry Kissinger-

Kissinger has been accused of world atrocities and ordering the murder of foreign nationals. He was one step removed from the Watergate scandal, and somehow avoided getting swept up in all of the Nixon turmoil.  And, (this is where it gets a little more creepy) he likes women, specifically young women who may be decades younger than he is.  Nice, and creepy.

 

Creepy Person #21- Jack Kevorkian

His nickname is Dr. Death, and he has made a name for himself ‘assisting’ people with killing themselves (some would call that murder, but I digress).  He has been rumored to have a life-long fascination with the subject of death and even went to prison for his right to help kill people.  Check out his artwork sometime.  Here is a nice little painting entitled “Nearer My God to Thee.”  Oh, my!

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

 

 

Lists

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Creepy Person #40- Juliette Lewis

She is creepy in the same way that Courtney love is, except that she looks much, much dirtier.  Yuck.

 

Creepy Person #39- Simcha Jacobovici

This guy is otherwise known as the Naked Archeologist, though he is neither naked (thank, God) or an archaeologist.  He is creepy because he puts forth the most outlandish theories, while simply ignoring the facts and generally accepted theories in archaeology.  His ideas are almost always sensational, and often offensive to certain religions.  He presents one side of the argument, and spends the rest of his time trying every way he can to sway the person watching him, while leaving out any views or facts contrary to his own no matter how valid or strong they are.  You can find some of his handy work in the generally panned production of The Jesus Tomb, but I encourage you not to listen to a thing this creepy bastard has to say.

 

Creepy Person #38- Pauly Shore

Hey Bu-ddy!  He’s pretty much the whole creepy package minus the evil part.  He is the kind of creepy that can ruin a good party the moment he walks in the door.

 

Creepy Person #37- Tonya Harding

Novels could be written about this creepy girl.  She proved you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl.  The dolled-up girl who went out on the ice was the same girl who had her truck-driver hubby try to break the leg of a fellow competitor, nice.  The next time America heard from her, she was doing the Paris Hilton thing, and not even getting paid for it.  The last time I saw her she was going to be fighting another celebrity on television.  Her life has been one big creepy train-wreck.

 

Creepy Person #36- Kathy Bates

She makes the list for scaring the sh— out of me.  He character, Annie Wilkes, in Misery, is one of the scariest characters to ever grace the screen.  After James Caan’s character hides the knife under the bed, and then wakes up to her obviously unhappy face, I literally jumped.  She definitely deserved the Oscar she received for this roll, and she is the highest rated actress to make this list simply for one roll.  Congratulations, Kathy!

 

Creepy Person #35- Michael Vick

Here the list begins to transition more from people who looked or acted creepy to more people who do creepy things.  What Michael Vick did to those dogs was not funny, but it was definitely creepy, and I wish him all the failure in the world for it.

 

Creepy Person #34- Lorena Bobbitt

In a masterful piece of cosmic irony this crazy woman married a man with the last name of Bobbitt.  Fewer things haunt the recesses of man’s mind like the specter of having a woman do to him what Lorena did to her husband.  And remember guys, she got away with it.  That gives every other woman license to do the same.  I can’t type too much more on this one, because it just makes me too darn nervous.

 

Creepy Person #33- Victor Vernado

Who’s he?  He is a guy who was born with a genetic advantage when it comes to playing the evil villain.  He’s albino.  As unfair and un-PC as it is, albinism is creepy.  Many of the creepiest villains in cinematic history were albinos, and do not get all judgmental, just imagine yourself in a darkened alley on a humid night alone.  You look up and see an albino looking at you.  You’ll feel the creepiness going right up your spine.

 

Creepy Person #32- Marv Albert

The toupee is enough, and may rate its own creepy rating, but he mainly makes it from the sexual assault charges.  It was a sordid and very creepy tale.

 

Creepy Person #31- Paul Ruebens-

The PeeWee Herman character was creepy enough, especially knowing that he geared his comedy toward children, but Reubens had to go and ruin his career in a most creepy manner.  If you don’t remember, he was busted in a porno theatre with his pants around his ankles loving himself as no other could.  And, if you’ve ever seen him without the PeeWee getup, you will see he is just one creepy looking guy.  Finally, having ‘Mr. Rooney’ from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off busted in his house for possessing little boy porn just put him over the creepy edge.

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

 

 

Lists

 

 

Top 100 Creepy People #41-50

Creepy Person #50- Grace Jones

If cannibalism were allowed today, Grace Jones would eat you.  She has to be the most intimidating woman on the planet, and I like most males am creeped-out by women who can kick my ass, especially women who could do it without really even trying.

 

Creepy Person #49- Roseanne Barr

Roseanne is sort of gross/creepy.  That voice alone is enough to make you want to put a bullet in your brainpan, and if you rent She Devil, you’ll be pleased (or completely creeped-out) with a nudie shot of her.  Yuck.

 

Creepy Person #48- Andy Warhol

This is another person that was suggested by a friend.  He’s creepy.  He looks creepy, and his art is weird, but recently I caught a couple of his old movies (which he directed) on one of the Showtime channels.  They were Flesh for Frankenstein and Blood for Dracula.  On top of being terrible films in general, they were extremely creepy.

 

Creepy Person #47- Tom Ctuise

I originally had Tom Cruise at #100.  The whole Katie Holmes thing got him on the list.  He, old enough to be her father, marries her, and she disappears.  Then I remembered the whole Scientology thing, and he quickly shot up the list.  Here we have a guy who is now purported to be the head of a completely made-up religion.  This particular religion at one point attempted to infiltrate the American government (it’s true check out operation Snow White).  His new videos are legendary.  He is definitely creepy.

 

Creepy Person #46- Al Gore

He’s a creepy looking guy, but that is not what creeps me out.  It’s the whole attempt to change our society by pushing a made up global problem with fictitious facts and skewed numbers on a world that does not need his help, while at the same using more energy personally than some small countries.

 

Creepy Person #45- Carrot Top

Creepy act, creepy props, roided out, and, oh yeah, he looks like this:

            

  Creepy.

 

Creepy Person #44- Dr Phil

“What were you thinkin’” putting Dr Phil on this list?  I have a low opinion of psychology in general, but here we have a guy who claims to want to help people, and obviously the best way to do that is to allow them to air their dirty laundry to all of America while at the same time berating them.  You might refer to this as ‘selling out’, but no, selling out would be to then endorse an online dating service as if that were a good way to meet someone and build a good relationship.  When is America going to hold it’s psychologists and counselors up to a higher standard?  They already have a 70% divorce rate (including Dr. Phil) which runs a full 15 percentage points above the national average.  Fix your own house before you come and try to fix mine, creep.

 

Creepy Person #43- Alice Cooper

No creepy list would be complete without a few of the creepy rockers on it.  Alice Cooper looks creepy, sings creepy, and has a creepy stage presentation.  For all of that, he comes off as some kind of nice guy whenever he is interviewed.  For this reason, he drops a few notches compared with the other creepy rockers.

 

Creepy Person #42- Ozzie Ozbourne

He is creepy in the same way that Alice Cooper is.  He has the creepy music, he had the creepy look, and his stage show included defecation and bat eating.  Score!  However, he has lost some of his hard creepy rocker edge in the last few years.  Not to worry though, it has been replaced be an equally creepy befuddled old man that shuffles around and talks to himself.  Drugs are indeed creepy.

 

Creepy Person #41- Courtney Love

She is a different kind of creepy, the nasty kind.  She is the kind of girl that could be hot when seeing her isn’t turning your stomach.  Don’t touch guys.  That stuff does not wash off.

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

 

 

Lists

 

 

Top 100 Creepy People #51-60

Creepy Person #60- John Waters

I had a friend suggest him for the list so I looked him up on Google images.  Oh, yeah.  That guy is creepy.  He is a director, so I looked up his work.  It’s pretty a pretty creepy list of films and actors also.

 

Creepy Person #59- Vincent Price

Honestly, he probably deserved to be higher on the list.  Here we have a guy who basically devoted his whole life to being creepy, but with time, and a more sophisticated audience, his brand of creepiness comes off a little hokey in today’s world.  If there were a lifetime achievement award for creepy, he would have received it.

 

 Creepy Person #58- Verne Troyer (or any little person)

Willow may be the only little person character ever seen in film that was not portrayed as evil.  Most little people in film are evil sidekicks.  I remember Dr. Shrinker when I was a kid.  Perhaps the most famous little person in film or television history, Billy Barty played the part of the evil sidekick Hugo in this Kroft sitcom.  Verne Troyer is just the 21st century incarnation of this type of actor.  He may be small, but he is big on creepy..

 Creepy Person #57- Bert

When I was making this list, Bert came to mind.  He always seemed weird and angry against Ernie’s more playful personality.  It was those angry eyebrows.  I had a friend call me out on this one.  He thought that Bert should not be on the list, so I Googled Bert and guess what I found?  There is a whole web-culture out there of people who agree that Bert is evil.  There is even a Snopes article that documents the fact that Bert has appeared on signs at pro-Al-Quaida rallies with Osama Bin Laden

 

 

Creepy Person #56- Bill Clinton

Honestly, he probably deserved to be higher on the list. Oh, yeah.  He’s creepy.  He has plowed a furrow through the women that surround him from one side of the country to the other.  He ranks with Warren G Harding and JFK in rumored affairs, and it can probably be taken as fact that he has out-paced both of them due to the fact that the other two died young.  From accusations of affairs in the governor’s mansion in Arkansas to cigars and stained dresses in the White House, this guy is definitely creepy.  Being married to Hillary does not help

Creepy Person #55- Hillary Clinton</span

Honestly, he probably deserved to be higher on the list. She stayed with him after that mess.  She comes across to me as one of the most disingenuous people in politics, and she may actually be the next President of the US.  I’m creeped out by that.

 

Creepy Person #54- Roddy McDowell

As a one of the great character actors, this guy was in everything, but he was still creepy.  He was the Crispin Glover of his era, and probably deserves more credit for his creepiness than I am giving him here.

 

Creepy Person #53- Linda Blair

A few people made the list for a single acting roll.  Linda Blair is one of them.

 

Creepy Person #52- Chris Cooper

As my grandfather used to say, “He is an odd duck.”

 

Creepy Person #51- Ray Liotta

If creepy eyes came with lasers, this guy would be able to stare a hole through anything.  He plays a good and creepy villain, but those eyes truly make his evil rolls more believable.

 

Top 100 Creepy People #61-70

 

Creepy Person #70- Kat Von D

Here is a woman who does not need all of the tattoos to bring attention to herself.  It is obvious that under all of that body art there is a beautiful woman, but at this point it would take years of surgery and tens of thousands of dollars to find her.  I know tattoos are very popular right now, but I am personally repulsed by them.  Fashions may come and go, but not a tattoo.  Most of these people would do better dealing with the issues that are driving them to do this to their bodies rather than getting them in the first place.  In extreme cases, such as hers it is all just too much, and creepy.

 

Creepy Person #69- Seth Green

The unkempt appearance that leaves him looking like the antagonist in a hillbilly horror movie would be enough to put him on the list, but he and the next Seth on the list (see the entry below) are writers of the animated show Family Guy.  It’s hilarious.  But the guys pole vault over lines that others fear to even get close to.  They are extremely creative, but their creativity often seems to be directed toward a place that is the literary equivalent of the place Oppenheimer’s creativity took him.

 

Creepy Person #68- Seth MacFarlane

Everything but the unkempt part in #69 applies here.  Not to get too preachy in a light hearted article, but the in the book of Romans it refers to “inventors of evil,” and these guys would be the poster boys for this.  They would make the list if only for inventing that creepy old guy who lives down the street from the Griffins.  The show is very funny, but even Family Guy needs to have boundaries.

 

Creepy Person #67- Jot

This one may be a little obscure for some (see this for more info on Jot http://www.tvparty.com/lostrel.html ).  Jot was one of the quasi-religious cartoons that turned up from time to time in the 1970s.  He was basically a white dot with feet (which is creepy enough), and the parents in this show were like those on the peanuts, except that you could understand them.  They seemed to be sort of omnipresent.  As with another of these types of characters, Davey, from Davey and Goliath, Jot was a horrible child.  He would always to bad things, and never would make it right until his conscious got to him or he got caught.  Then it was always, “I’m sorry I stabbed little Timmy.”  “That’s OK Jot, I still love you.”  How about encouraging kids to make good decisions in the first place?  All of this forgiveness stuff gets kind of overrated if you are never motivated to be any better.  The animation in this one is creepy too.

 

Creepy Person #66- Anna Nicole Smith

I thought it might be too soon after her passing to put this one on the list, but the creepiness she visited on this world during her lifetime would have made it egregious not to have included her.  First there was the whole married to an ancient billionaire thing.  That alone is creepy.  Then she went through the period where she was gross and overweight, but it seemed neither she nor the media realized this as they continually showed her scantily clad body at every opportunity.  Since her passing, a video of her ‘entertaining’ some children at birthday party has come out.  Her face is made up in such a way that it would haunt the dreams of even the Joker, and she looks out of it!  It is hard not to feel pity for what became of her life, but she was undeniably creepy.

 

Creepy Person #65- Barney Frank

Thanks, Massachusetts.  Here we have a guy who is another nightmare for conservatives.  He sounds like the Mad Hatter and lived with a male escort who actually ran a male escort service from the house where they both lived while he was (and still is) in office.

 

Creepy Person #64- Elivra

Yeah, she was a hot girl who made some money dressing up like a sexy Bride of Frankenstein for Saturday morning movies.  That was a little weird, but have you seen her lately?  Up until the last couple of years she was still putting on that getup and appearing in public, and it was not pretty.  Apparently, someone finally had the talk about aging gracefully with her, and she has decided to retire, but not before taking applications for an Elvira to replace her, as if the world could not do without her.

 

Creepy Person #63- Robert Tilton

I guess I’ll pile all of these bastards under the same heading, so I don’t have a list completely populated by televangelists.  Bilking old ladies out of their life savings in order to fund his lavish lifestyle is pretty creepy.  Having people put their faith in you (to the point of stopping taking their medicine) and later dying of treatable illnesses, being exposed as a charlatan on network television, and closing up shop in Dallas only to reopen shortly thereafter in Florida.  And, doing all of this while dragging the name of the Holy God that you serve through the mud with you.  Creepy.  I am sure the karma cloud that surrounds this guy is enough to block out the sun.

 

Creepy Person #62- Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber

Have you seen this guy?  He is the Phantom of the Opera.  Cree-py.

 

Creepy Person # 61- Richard Simmons

He has lost a little relevance in the past few years, but the age and those horrible shorts only add to the creepiness.  I wonder who gets more creeped-out at one of his weight-loss sessions, the girls or the guys when he touches them.  If this were and list of irritating people, he would definitely score higher.

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

Lists

 

 

 

Top 100 Creepy People #71-80

Creepy Person #80- Paris Hilton
She reminds me most of one of the beings that came out of the ship at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The media continues to push her on us as some sort of example of beauty, but I know better. Her whorish ways and idiotic attitude only add to the creepiness.

Creepy Person #79- Boris Karloff
His body of work probably should put him higher on the list, but with Freddy Kruger disemboweling everything that walks by, Karloff’s movies have lost their edge. There is still some good nostalgia here, and he deserved to make the list if only as a pioneer in the field of creepiness.

Creepy Person #78- Britney Spears
If it were not for the kid thing, I probably have put her and Paris on the same level, but what she has done to her children has gone beyond creepy to just sad. But, she’s still out there panty-less on a regular basis. She is the kind of crazy that would make you put a bullet in your own brainpan just to make her shut up.

Creepy Person #77- Christopher Walken
He can play a good villain, and the dude is just weird. Even his William Shatner style of speaking is creepy.

Creepy Person #76- Tiny Tim
If I have to explain this one, you obviously do not know who I am talking about. He wore adult diapers not because he was incontinent, but for ‘sanitary’ reasons. Just look this nut up.

Creepy Person #75- Angelina Jolie
I dealt with this a little in the earlier piece in Brad Pitt, but suffice it to say, she makes the list solely for relationship with the ultra-creepy Billy Bob Thornton. She actually wore a vial of his blood around her neck, and would not take it off even for movie roles. She always wanted to have him near here. Crreeepy!

Creepy Person #74- Meat loaf
I respect this guy. Anyone who can put out one album a decade for four decades and have them all make a mint is a genius, but he is a creepy looking guy. Hot wife, though.

Creepy Person #73- R Kelly
Any guy who could stock his own section in a video store with the sex videos involving himself and underage girls is creepy. It’s even more creepy that he is still walking the streets. Where I come from we call those guys pedophiles and we put them in jail.

Creepy Person #72- Senator Larry Craig
Hey, you slimy bastard. Give it up already. You have proven yourself to be a two-faced pervert. No one wants you, not the Republicans or the Democrats. At least the governor of New York stepped down, and you should too.

Creepy Person #71- Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the World
Tall girls are always a little gangly, but that does not do justice to her. She is 7 ft. 7 inches tall. Any man would be stricken with fear when faced with the reality of his own inadequacies with a woman of this size.

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

Lists

Top 100 Creepy People #81-90

Creepy Person #90- Ruth Bader-Ginsburg

Ruth Bader-Ginsburg is the liberal who haunts the dreams of all good conservatives. She is not going to win any beauty contests, and if she had her way they would probably be illegal.  The fact that she and Scalia (my hero) are able to be friends almost pushes her off the list.

Creepy Person #89- Vincent Schiavelli

He is one of the great character actors of the 80s and 90s, and everyone I knew just called him “Fish Face.”  Can creepy be so shallow that it applies simply to the way a person looks?  Absolutely.

Creepy Person #88- Wallace Shawn

Some would say that it is “inconceivable” that he would make this list, but he gets on for the same reason as Fish Face #89.  He has played his fair share of evil villains and creatures during his career.

Creepy Person #87- Tony Randall

 As Felix Ungar, he was the original metrosexual.  His prissy nature on the show and in real life was enough to make anyone wonder whose side he was playing for, so to prove his heterosexuality, he goes off and impregnates a woman…at the age of 70!  Ewe!  creepy.

Creepy Person #86- Frank Oz-

Frank brought us some of the stranger Muppets, like Sam the Eagle and Bert.  He also was the strangely backward talking Yoda (very creepy) in the Star Wars films.  He is a weird looking guy who is most remembered in movies for holding up a soiled condom in The Blues Brothers.  He is not the strangest person on the list, but he is a puppeteer.

Creepy Person #85- Janeane Garofalo

It creeps me out that I find her attractive.  She looks as if she smells like Patchouli and cigarettes, but yet I am curiously attracted to her.  Of course, my great fear would be going up to talk to her (if I were not happily married, that is) and having her start to talk politics

 

Creepy Person #84- Gordon Keith

 

Known to some as the Dark Lord, this radio/television personality has one of the darkest senses of humor that you will every find outside of Hell.  His Halloween and Valentine cards, while funny, will hit you like a punch in the gut.  See Gordo’s blog here.

Creepy Person #83- The Olson Twins

Since I can’t tell them apart, I didn’t even try.  They used to be cute, but that was obviously before the heroin.  Now these sunken eyed beauties look like a casting call for Dawn of the Dead.  The whole Lance Armstrong thing is creepy too.

Creepy Person #82- Mark Cuban

 

I’m not trying to be too Dallas-centric here, but is that really possible?  Cuban is tiring to say the least, but he is also creepy.  He is the guy you don’t want to let into the country club much like Rodney Dangerfield’s character in Caddyshack.  Not everyone knows it, but this doughy guy made some ‘blue’ films before he became filthy rich, creepy (shudder).

 

 Creepy Person #81- Bozo the Clown

 

Clowns in general are creepy in the same way that carnie’s are creepy, and bozo was the prototypical clown.  The whole Bozo franchise thing was also creepy.  So, your kid goes to get his picture taken with Bozo, but is it the real Bozo, or some guy who is a drunken pedophile when he’s out of costume.

 

Top 100 Creepy People Criteria

Top 100 Creepy People 10-1

Top 100 Creepy People 21-30

Top 100 Creepy People 31-40

Top 100 Creepy People 41-50

Top 100 Creepy People 51-60

Top 100 Creepy People 61-70

Top 100 Creepy People 71-80

Top 100 Creepy People 81-90

Top 100 Creepy People 91-100

Lists

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