Motherly Love

I recently read a post on one of my friend’s blogs about him slicing off the end of his finger with a razor.  Being a little sarcastic, and hearing my mother’s voice inside my head, I thought, “I’ve had worse places than that on my eye.”  This brought a host of my mom’s sayings back to me, and with Mother’s Day just around the corner, I thought I would put My Top 100 Creepy People list on hold and talk about mom.

First, I want to say that I love my mother, and she has been the greatest influence on my life.  She taught me morals and the importance of being polite with people.  She led me toward Christianity, and basically taught me to be a good person.  She is an even better grandmother to my daughter and mother-in-law to my wife.

However, I have another good friend that I’ve dropped some of my mother’s ‘pearls of wisdom’ on over the years.  At one point, he told me that he was surprised that I turned as well as I have after hearing these words of encouragement all of my life.

There were no good manuals on raising a child when I was born, and I don’t think my mom was a big reader at that time anyway.  All she had to draw upon was tradition and the things she had heard her mother say to her.  My grandmother lived through the Great Depression and was a share-cropper at times.  It was a hard life and combined with the American tradition of ‘rugged individualism,’ the people of this generation did not have the time, patience or ethic for worrying about every scraped knee.

I decided to gather these sayings together to make sure they are remembered by someone other than my daughter (because I will not be saying them to her), and as a sort of cathartic experience for myself, not that I really need it.

“I’ve had worse places than that on my eye.”-  This little gem would be delivered anytime there was an obvious wound to my body.  Imagine a six year old little boy falling down and skinning his knee all up.  Today, a good parent might rush to his side, pick him up, hug him and kiss his ‘booboo.’  Not during mom’s day.  No, she would take one look at it and scoreboard me by saying, “I’ve had worse places than that on my eye.”  Now, I could never compete with my mother in these types of competitions.  She had grown up in a place called ‘the bottoms,’ and had literally at one time lived in the back of a broken-down school bus for a few years.  She may have indeed been the Kareem Abdul Jabar of suffering as a child, but I didn’t see the need for her to point out the skins on her wall every time I was in pain.

“I’m going to give you something to cry about”- This ‘life affirming’ threat could be delivered in a time of mild pain or severe annoyance for myself.  The prerequisite for this statement would be for me to be crying.  I don’t remember her every actually delivering on the threat, however.  Perhaps hearing this statement from my mother, who I thought I could bring the problem to, was enough to sufficiently jar my other concerns loose or perhaps my sadness was transformed into fear.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you./Don’t you give me that look!” or “Answer me when I am talking to you!”- When you are a kid that is in trouble with mom, it’s like walking through a minefield.  Often there is no right look or correct answer that is going to help.  Mom’s will ask rhetorical questions like “Do you know how much I have to do around here?”, and heaven help the ignorant child who makes the mistake of actually trying to answer her.

“I’m not always going to be around to do these things for you.”- Mom was trying to reinforce the need for me to learn to do things for myself, but children as a rule are filled with a certain amount of ‘separation anxiety.’  I heard this as a threat or warning of the possibility of mom not being there anymore, and that was truly frightening.

“It’s no use crying over spilt milk.”- Anyone who has a child knows that kids cry a lot.  I know now that mom was trying to toughen me up, and teach me that some things just are not that important, but as a kid, sometimes I wished she had a little more empathy for the way I felt.  (Waaaah!)

“A little soap & water never killed anybody.”- While this may have been true, the pain and unpleasantness brought about buy the rubbing of my face that usually accompanied this statement could have been used effectively by the Inquisition.  And, I was just lucky if there was sink around or mom would use her spit to clean me up.  Ewe!

“Close the door behind you — were you born in a barn?”- Maybe.  How was I to know.  Mom lived in a bus for a while, maybe I was born in a barn.

“Because I said so.”- If your mom were on Jeopardy, the question would be, “What is an acceptable answer to any question that is asked?”

“Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back”- Every kid needs a little encouragement, and sometimes you may even fish for a little praise from your parents,…not at my house.  This phrase would be delivered to those who were foolish enough to cast their lines out for such encouragement.

“If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.”- I was never sure if this line was issued to make me feel stupid and unobservant, or just to give me a nice, unnatural fear of serpents.  My guess is that it was both.

“If you fall off that thing and break a leg, don’t come running to me/You made your bed, now lie in it.”  Nice.  Never mind the logistics involved in this.  I mean, if I did break my leg, I would probably not be in much of a position to do a lot of running, but that aside, statements like these are what the Depression era mentality of rugged individualism is all about.  These wonderful words of encouragement imply that you are on you own, and mom is not going to help you.

“Don’t let the door hit you in the rear/I’ll help you pack/Is that a threat or a promise?”- These statements are always preceded by the threat from the child to run away.  Usually that threat is prompted by some deep seated feeling that the child has been treated unfairly.  For mom, the best way to deal with those feelings was to heap on a nice big scoop of ‘I just don’t care about the way you are feeling.’

“Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a pitcher?”  Wow!  If mom is willing to sit by and watch a person burn for all eternity without even offering to help, I probably am not going to be getting that grilled cheese that I would like right now.

“Life isn’t fair/The Fair only comes around once a year.”  It is important to teach our children that there are certain inequities that we just have to live with.  However, it is important to note that we do not want to leave the impression that we just don’t care about fairness and justice.

“Someday your face will freeze like that!”- I’m sure mom delivered this line as I was looking at her in a disrespectful manner after getting in trouble for something, but it would have been nice if I had not felt that she was actually hoping my face would freeze that way as a type of further punishment.

“What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?”  This sometimes came across as an offer.

“You can get glad in the same pants you got sad/mad in.”- This is one of my all-time favorites.  Imagine a heartbroken child tearfully coming to his mother looking for little consolation.  Thanks, Mom!  I feel much better now!  That heartfelt empathy really hit the spot!

“If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!”- This is a classic.  It implies that there is a simplistic solution to any problem a kid will face.  It’s all about attitude, and mom’s attitude was, “don’t bother me with those trivial problems.”

 

Happy mother’s day.

I love you mom!

 

 

 

American Idol Results Show, May 7

As a whole it seems like the group songs this year have been the weakest in the history of the show, and tonight’s song did nothing to help that perception.  I felt like an actual year passed by during their rendition of “Reeling in the Years.”  Since, I assume the Idol tour consists of a lot of this type of thing, I don’t know how well these weekly performances are drumming up business.

The crazy amounts of cross promotion on the show are now going too far.  Thanks for the five minute Beatle’s Love commercial.  How about instead of treating your audience like a bunch of idiots by dragging the contestants around to promote a different product under the guise of an actual segment each week, you allow them more song development and rehearsal time?  Perhaps if this happened, the quality of the music and the performances would get better.

In unrelated news, The Partnership for a Drug Free America has announced that they are replacing the image of a frying egg in their “this is your brain on drugs” commercials with Jason Castro shouting, “Bob Marley!”.  And, Syesha announced before the show that she will be petitioning the U.S. Congress for equal representation on MLK day due to the efforts and struggles she has experienced on the show this season.  Through this she hopes that all of America will be more able to identify with her plight.

It came as no surprise to anyone when Jason was shown the door.  I think he actually has less of a chance of becoming a successful recording artist than Brooke.  She may not have the backbone, but Jason has other problems.  His style is not mainstream, and he doesn’t have the talent, drive or discipline to make it in that industry.  He might make it as a restaurant singer if he is disciplined enough or cares enough to show up to work, and if they offer him free food, he will be able to cure the munchies.

 

American Idol Top 4, May 6th

The theme was the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, one of the lamest halls of fame there is.  And, the safest bet in Vegas would have been that they judges would be back to their usual format of judging after each song, and this, of course, and was thankfully the case.

 

David Cook

“Hungry Like the Wolf”- I will say first that I am not a big Duran Duran fan, and he sang a pretty straight up cover version of the song.  It did not have a lot of the Emo qualities of the music he has been singing, but he had a little bit of a growl in his voice for the whole song which actually added a little to a song with ‘wolf’ in the chorus.  It was a good, upbeat song to start the show with, but for me, it was just alright, especially compared to what he has done in past weeks.

Randy agreed with me saying it was just OK.

Simon said it was good enough, but a little copycat.

“Baba O’Reilly”- I did not know the song, so I did not have a very good frame of reference.  It was alright, but I am sure it was not his best.  He should sail on through, but all of the ‘x’ factors are working against him, from going first, to not singing standards, to not doing his best stuff.

Randy thought it was great.

Simon said, “Welcome back.”

 

Syesha Mercado

“Proud Mary”- She looked nice tonight, but she talked about her ‘fans’ which was a little weird.  The stage performance seemed really detached and forced.  The vocal was spot on, but it was back to seeming fake.  I think the judges have created a monster.  By praising her for her ‘Broadway’ like performances, they have unintentionally allowed her to become too performance oriented.

Randy thought she was in the zone again.

Simon thought it was a bad ‘shrieky’ version of a Tina Turner song.

“A Change is Gonna Come”- She held her notes too long.  This song embodied everything I do not like about some of her performances.  It was not her style at all, and she sang the song as if she did not know what it was about.  Once again she got to the end, and it seemed like the only thing she was worried about was the big, ‘runny’ note at the end.  Other than that, it was an extremely boring song and performance.

Randy thought it was not a good arrangement, that she pushed for things the song did not need, and that it felt disconnected.

Paula was a sycophantic idiot on this song.

Simon, for some reason, agreed with Paula.

 

Jason Castro-

“I Shot the Sherriff”- I thought this song was OK also.  The problem with Jason is that his songs are usually good enough to keep him in the competition over someone that does not do as well every week.  However, he is never the best or the ‘stand out’ from week to week, and eventually, as there are fewer and better people left in the competition, he will not be able to outshine the rest of the contestants.

Randy thought it was a really Karaoke version of a Bob Marley song.

Simon hated it.

“Mr. Tambourine Man”- The first thing I thought when he announced the song was that this would be another song that would sound like all the rest of the stuff he has hung this season.  He forgot the lyrics in a big and terrible way.  At least he did not start over, but this should be his ticket home.  The last note was bad also.

Randy thought he was not in the zone.

Simon correctly said that he should pack his suitcase.

 

David Archuleta-

“Stand By Me”- The first thing I thought was that he should do well on this, because it is a really safe song.  He changed it up just enough to keep it from being boring, and it was pretty good.

Randy liked it a lot.

Simon thought it was a good song choice and the best performance so far.

“Love Me Tender”- When I heard that he was singing this, I thought he was walking into a minefield.  Elvis is one of the most iconic and affected singers ever, and this is one of his most iconic and affected songs.  You could never sing it as good as he did.  If you change it you mess with a classic, and if you sing it the same, you will sound goofy trying to get the same affectation in your voice.  This being said, I really liked what he did with it.  It was a very ‘Archuleta’ performance.  The only real criticism I had was that it was a little boring.

Randy loved it.

Simon thought he ‘crushed the competition tonight.’  I thought this was a little much.

 

Where’s the beef?

I have eaten a lot of fish and chicken on this diet.  I like them both, so that is OK with me.  However, I really like beef also, especially steak.  I have been getting my beef through soup and an occasional taco salad, both of which are great ways to get the great flavor of beef into your meal, but to also stretch it so that you are not ruining you diet.

This week, however, when my wife and I went to Cosco, we bought something besides the usual fish and chicken.  We bought a whole beef tenderloin.  They are expensive (I saw them anywhere from $50.00 to $75.00), but if you cut them into 6-8 oz portions, they go along way.  I got 15 fillets and a pound of stew meat off one tenderloin.  When you break it down, I only paid about $3.70 per fillet (not counting the stew meat.  That’s not bad at all.  It is important to note that if you do this you will have to trim a good bit of fat and silver-skin off the tenderloin.

The tenderloin can be used just like the chicken or fish in a meal (though it does have more calories).  For 6 oz. fillet, you only take in around 400 calories.

So, last night I got out one of the fillets, coated it with fresh cacked pepper and Kosher salt, and grilled it up.  I also grilled some mushrooms (almost no calories in these if you avoid butter and oil) and caramelized a little onion.  On the side I had a can on green beans seasoned with a few Bacos.  The steak cut like butter, and I have to say it was easily the best meal I’ve had since I began the diet, and probably for a good while before that.  This is not to say that I have not eaten well.  This meal was just especially good, and I will probably work it in about once a week from now on.

Week 16 Update:  This week I lost four pounds for a toal of 91 lbs. lost so far.  I am at 268, and am only nine pounds away from losing 100 lbs.  I am 65% of the way to my reevaluation goal at this time.

 

Top 100 Creepy People #71-80

Creepy Person #80- Paris Hilton
She reminds me most of one of the beings that came out of the ship at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The media continues to push her on us as some sort of example of beauty, but I know better. Her whorish ways and idiotic attitude only add to the creepiness.

Creepy Person #79- Boris Karloff
His body of work probably should put him higher on the list, but with Freddy Kruger disemboweling everything that walks by, Karloff’s movies have lost their edge. There is still some good nostalgia here, and he deserved to make the list if only as a pioneer in the field of creepiness.

Creepy Person #78- Britney Spears
If it were not for the kid thing, I probably have put her and Paris on the same level, but what she has done to her children has gone beyond creepy to just sad. But, she’s still out there panty-less on a regular basis. She is the kind of crazy that would make you put a bullet in your own brainpan just to make her shut up.

Creepy Person #77- Christopher Walken
He can play a good villain, and the dude is just weird. Even his William Shatner style of speaking is creepy.

Creepy Person #76- Tiny Tim
If I have to explain this one, you obviously do not know who I am talking about. He wore adult diapers not because he was incontinent, but for ‘sanitary’ reasons. Just look this nut up.

Creepy Person #75- Angelina Jolie
I dealt with this a little in the earlier piece in Brad Pitt, but suffice it to say, she makes the list solely for relationship with the ultra-creepy Billy Bob Thornton. She actually wore a vial of his blood around her neck, and would not take it off even for movie roles. She always wanted to have him near here. Crreeepy!

Creepy Person #74- Meat loaf
I respect this guy. Anyone who can put out one album a decade for four decades and have them all make a mint is a genius, but he is a creepy looking guy. Hot wife, though.

Creepy Person #73- R Kelly
Any guy who could stock his own section in a video store with the sex videos involving himself and underage girls is creepy. It’s even more creepy that he is still walking the streets. Where I come from we call those guys pedophiles and we put them in jail.

Creepy Person #72- Senator Larry Craig
Hey, you slimy bastard. Give it up already. You have proven yourself to be a two-faced pervert. No one wants you, not the Republicans or the Democrats. At least the governor of New York stepped down, and you should too.

Creepy Person #71- Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the World
Tall girls are always a little gangly, but that does not do justice to her. She is 7 ft. 7 inches tall. Any man would be stricken with fear when faced with the reality of his own inadequacies with a woman of this size.

Top 100 Creepy People #81-90

Creepy Person #90- Ruth Bader-Ginsburg

Ruth Bader-Ginsburg is the liberal who haunts the dreams of all good conservatives. She is not going to win any beauty contests, and if she had her way they would probably be illegal.  The fact that she and Scalia (my hero) are able to be friends almost pushes her off the list.

Creepy Person #89- Vincent Schiavelli

He is one of the great character actors of the 80s and 90s, and everyone I knew just called him “Fish Face.”  Can creepy be so shallow that it applies simply to the way a person looks?  Absolutely.

Creepy Person #88- Wallace Shawn

Some would say that it is “inconceivable” that he would make this list, but he gets on for the same reason as Fish Face #89.  He has played his fair share of evil villains and creatures during his career.

Creepy Person #87- Tony Randall

 

As Felix Ungar, he was the original metrosexual.  His prissy nature on the show and in real life was enough to make anyone wonder whose side he was playing for, so to prove his heterosexuality, he goes off and impregnates a woman…at the age of 70!  Ewe!  creepy.

Creepy Person #86- Frank Oz-

Frank brought us some of the stranger Muppets, like Sam the Eagle and Bert.  He also was the strangely backward talking Yoda (very creepy) in the Star Wars films.  He is a weird looking guy who is most remembered in movies for holding up a soiled condom in The Blues Brothers.  He is not the strangest person on the list, but he is a puppeteer.

Creepy Person #85- Janeane Garofalo

It creeps me out that I find her attractive.  She looks as if she smells like Patchouli and cigarettes, but yet I am curiously attracted to her.  Of course, my great fear would be going up to talk to her (if I were not happily married, that is) and having her start to talk politics

 

Creepy Person #84- Gordon Keith

 

Known to some as the Dark Lord, this radio/television personality has one of the darkest senses of humor that you will every find outside of Hell.  His Halloween and Valentine cards, while funny, will hit you like a punch in the gut.  See Gordo’s blog here.

Creepy Person #83- The Olson Twins

Since I can’t tell them apart, I didn’t even try.  They used to be cute, but that was obviously before the heroin.  Now these sunken eyed beauties look like a casting call for Dawn of the Dead.  The whole Lance Armstrong thing is creepy too.

Creepy Person #82- Mark Cuban

 

I’m not trying to be too Dallas-centric here, but is that really possible?  Cuban is tiring to say the least, but he is also creepy.  He is the guy you don’t want to let into the country club much like Rodney Dangerfield’s character in Caddyshack.  Not everyone knows it, but this doughy guy made some ‘blue’ films before he became filthy rich, creepy (shudder).

 

 Creepy Person #81- Bozo the Clown

 

Clowns in general are creepy in the same way that carnie’s are creepy, and bozo was the prototypical clown.  The whole Bozo franchise thing was also creepy.  So, your kid goes to get his picture taken with Bozo, but is it the real Bozo, or some guy who is a drunken pedophile when he’s out of costume.

 

Top 100 Creepy People #91-100

Creepy Person #100- Brad Pitt

Why Brad Pitt?  He has really grown as an actor in the past decade, and I like him in most of the roles I see these days.  His creepiness is by association.  He is dating Angelina Jolie who is also creepy by association.  She was married to Billy Bob Thornton (one of the creepiest people on the planet), and together, they forged a bond based on creepiness (more on this later).  That kind of creepy does not wash off.  It’s always there in the back of your mind, and no matter how beautiful she may be, you are still only one relationship removed from being in bed with Billy Bob himself (shiver).

 

Creepy Person #99- Paula Abdul

Paula is weird, and she may have a substance abuse problem.  She often looks and sounds like the female version of a letch as she fauns over the contestants of the show be they male or female. Like several of the women on this list, she is using everything she can in a losing battle to fight the effects of aging.

 

Creepy Person # 98 Constantine Maroulis

Since he was the genesis of this whole idea, I honestly thought he would come in at a higher spot, but he just does not have the fame or the creepy ‘cred’ that many of those above him do.  I still believe he is the creepiest Idol contestant in the history of the show, and I will say again, that I would not let my daughter travel to a state where I knew him to be.

 

Creepy Person #97 Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen is what Constantine Maroulis would be if he could really pull chicks.  He has plowed ground in an unending furrow from coast to coast, but that was not enough.  He married Denise Richards (hot!), but that was also not enough.  No, this guy who had Denise Richards at home and could have had pretty much any woman ‘for free,’ still went out and bought hookers, so much so, that he is fairly notorious for it.  I’m sure there is a Ven diagram where my jealousy toward him and my feeling that he is creepy begin to occupy the same space.  This fact only makes me feel dirty and creepier.

 

Creepy Person #96- Mariah Carey

I’ve seen the concert rider.  Green M&Ms, a toilet that has never been used, and that is just the first paragraph of six typed pages.  Guys will put up with a lot for a beautiful woman, but crazy wears you out pretty fast, if it does not kill you in your sleep.

 

Creepy Person #95- Jerry Seinfeld

All of Hollywood may ignore it, but just because you are famous does not make it alright to be a pedophile.  She was 17 when they started dating.

 

Creepy Person #94- Ben Folds

I love everything I have heard by this guy, but the more you listen to his lyrics the more you realize what a screwed up SOB he is.  It takes a lot of pain to write like that, and most people could never convey those feelings half as well or as tortured as he does.  I give any relationship he is in about a 2% chance of success, in fact, give me the under on that bet.

 

Creepy Person #93- Mr. Rogers

I have a friend who loves this guy.  First off, watching that show and seeing him follow the same process from beginning to end each day would leave any child a little OCD.  He looks like the type of guy who knows how many steps it takes to get him to the corner of his street.  The dress only adds to the creepiness.  Not once in all of the years he was on television did he seem to be affected by fashion trends.  It was the same thing everyday.  No one could be like that all of the time.  He is the poster boy for people saying, “He always seemed like such a nice person.”  Nice until they dig up all of the graves, that is.

 

Creepy Person #92- Pokemon

I know this is not a person, but there is definitely something creepy and insidious about Pokemon.  Kids seemed to be captivated by this primitive animation that could have taken lessons from G-Force.  And, the never-ending card game that went along with it whose only purpose was to get kids to buy more of the game was creepy.

 

Creepy Person #91- Nick Nolte

Nick Nolte is Gary Busey Light, a lighter slightly less offensive and creepy version of the original.  He still gets the DUIs and looks like he stinks, but not as bad as Busey.  I think the photo says it all .

Top 100 Creepy People

After causing a flair-up at the very suggestion that Constantine Maroulis is a creepy guy I began to ponder creepiness, and in an attempt to stir up as much trouble as I can while having a little fun, I have come up with a top 100 creepy list.  I had no real criteria other than the fact that these people in one way or another strike me as creepy.  I stayed away from people who have no notoriety, and I did not use too many historical figures.  Some, however, were so infamous for creepiness that they required some mention.  This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I invite you to remind me of any deserving creepy person that I may have left out.  I also left some people out on purpose.  For example, I did include Jeffery Dahmer on the list, but did not include John Wayne Gacy or many of the other serial killers.  Dahmer will suffice for the rest of them.  I didn’t want to have a list that was all serial killers.  In the same vain, I did not include a lot of the more creepy Metal Bands, but I mentioned a couple specifically.

I found that the word ‘creepy’ has almost as many connotations as ‘dude’ does.  You can be creepy in an ugly way, or a strange way.  Creepy can be evil or perverted.  It can scheme and erode, but in the end it is just creepy.

Some of the people on the list may be filler, but I hope they are funny.

Don’t expect the creepiest people in the world to be at the bottom of the list.  It will build.

Enjoy.

 

Why Sabermetrics is not going to save the Rangers

I had the pleasure of attending a wonderful baseball game this afternoon between the Texas Rangers and the Kansas City Royals.  It was about 80 degrees with a nice breeze.  There were only about 5,000 fans in the park (Texas has done little to draw fans so far this year).  However, on this day, the Rangers and the Royals got involved in a pitching duel.  Both pitchers went eight innings (very rare in any game much less one involving these two teams), and there were no errors in the game (just as rare if the Rangers take the field).  In the end, Texas won 2-1 on two home runs in a game that took only 2:10 to play.  Games like this make baseball more enjoyable.

Getting home earlier than I intended, I began to think about the problems with the Rangers as a team.  There is some anticipation around the Dallas area regarding the eminent demise of Ranger manager Ron Washington.  If this happens, I would like to see Buddy Bell given another opportunity to succeed as a manager. Getting rid of Ron would be a nice first step, but much more needs to be done.

General Manager John Daniels claims to subscribe to the ‘Billy Ball’ theory otherwise known as Sabermetrics.  I am not here to denigrate the Sabermetric theory.  It works or it has worked in the past.  Just look at Oakland making their yearly attempt to rise to the top of the AL West with another group of pseudo-stars.  Boston, of course, is the biggest example of how Sabermetrics can work for a team.  They believe in the idea so much, they have retained Bill James, the father of Sabermetrics, as a consultant for the team.

The Sabermetrics method assumes that all teams must function within a given budget, and therefore to maximize your potential to win, you must sign players that give you the biggest bang for the buck.  It really just makes sense, but Sabermetrics uses a set of expanded criteria that are used to determine a player’s ‘worth’ to a team.  In the end, the method tends to focus not on the elite players of the game as much, because they cost too much money to pack a roster full of them (unless you are the Yankees), but rather it focuses on very good, difference makers that are salary friendly.  By dropping out of the bidding for players such as A-Rod who may cost a team upwards of $25,000,000 a year, a team can focus on players who are very good, but not elite.  After applying the Sabermetrics methods to the players that may be available in free agency or for trade, a team can concentrate on packing its roster with these types of players and using them to complement a couple of truly elite players it may also have on its roster.  It is argued that by adding these players who ‘statistically’ make a difference to your team, you make your team better than other teams. Simple.

As I said before, this idea has definitely led to success for several teams in the past few years.  The problem I see is this, Sabermetrics, by being successful has given itself a definite lifespan.  For a number of reasons, Sabermetrics will have, and has already begun to deliver diminishing returns.

As more teams use these criteria for evaluating talent, the group of players that Sabermetrics has identified as ‘budget-friendly difference makers’ will be artificially inflated.  When there were only a couple of teams going for these players, those teams could focus on the ones at the very top of their Sabermetric statistics.  Now, many teams (including my Texas Rangers) have adopted this philosophy, and all teams know about it.  As a result, there is a lot more competition for these types of players.  Teams that do not even necessarily admit to using the Sabermetrics philosophy will make an extra effort to keep the players already on their roster that fit the Sabermetrics profile because their value will be more apparent.  This will further dilute the pool of players that fit the profile.

Another problem with Sabermetrics is that it does not effectively take into account the players that surround a particular player, and as a result, teams that are already pretty good tend to benefit more from its philosophy.  A player in the middle of a line-up with four other good hitters around him may look better that he actually is because he gets more at bats in that line-up, he is driven in more in that line-up, pitchers are forced to pitch to him in more situations, and he has more opportunities to drive in runs in that line up.  Put him on a team with a worse line-up, where he has to carry a lot more of the load, and his stats go way down as his opportunities decrease.  However, take the third best batter from say, the Marlins and plug him into a Red Sox line-up that is already filled with good hitters and he suddenly he is a much better player.

Coming to these ideas a part of a team philosophy as the Rangers have done will eventually be proven to be a losing endeavor.  Due to scarcity, these teams will reach for less talented players in an attempt to find players who fit these newly adopted philosophies.  It also will instill the catastrophic idea that championships can be won on the cheap if you only use this method.  This will sound great to owners who will think that they may be able to spend less, not hire superstars, and still have a contending team.

As far as salaries go, the Sabermetrics philosophy will end up driving them up.  The scarcity of players that fit the sabermetrics mold will drive their prices up.  And as teams attempt to do a better job of holding onto this talent, more teams will reach for talent that is not quite as good, and the salaries for those players will rise as well.  Trades for these types of players will cost more prospects, depleting a team’s farm system.  And don’t think that statisticians and GMs are the only ones paying attention to all of this.  Player agents and the players themselves have already started crunching these numbers, and when the numbers come up saying that they are more valuable, they are going to expect to be compensated accordingly.

As far as I can see, the Ranges have made every misstep possible in their attempt to adopt Billy Ball.  They spent the last few years building up their farm system, and recently have traded a lot of the talent that was almost ready for the major leagues for a group of guys who may not have been as good as they looked statistically.

 

American Idol Results Show, April 30th

The show started with the best group song so far this season.  There was even some real harmony.  I ran it back just to make sure they were not lip-syncing.  I am surprised that this part of the show is getting better just as the contestants have more songs to learn each week.  It might be that Neil Diamond’s songs are just easier to sing, or perhaps by trimming some of the less talented fat from the competition, the group song has become better through attrition.  Whatever the reason, it’s a good thing.

Creepy Constantine (and I stand by the creepy comment 100%) was back this week to promote some lame Idol recap show on the Fox Reality Channel (unlike my lame Idol recap blog).  Looks like that singing career has really taken off for him.  I think I still remember Gina Glockson, but I know I don’t care one bit.

Apparently, Paula, the producers or maybe both of them were so embarrassed by her ridiculous comments toward Jason during last night’s show that they deliberately omitted them from the two minute recap.  Are you serious?  That was hands down one of the classic moments ever on Idol, and the fact that they did not include it in the recap smacked of a purposeful cover-up.  If you are going to put that stupid airhead on the show every week, don’t take liberties with your audience while trying to avoid the fact that she is an idiot.  You may say that they were just worried about her feelings, but I say, if you are going to put yourself out there every week in that condition as a judge of talent in a competition on television (no less), then you deserve whatever ridicule and criticism you receive.  Oh, if the internet rumors of her impending demise were only true.

I’m not going to take any easy shots at Neil Diamond’s mother on this blog, but I will remind the producers of the show that this is television.

When Jason was safe, I knew it would be a bad night for one of the girls, and I was right.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Brooke leave the show, because she honestly deserved to go.  It also will give the Internet a week’s reprieve from the inevitable calls of racism that will come whenever Sayesha leaves in the next two weeks.  I did come up with a name for Brooke’s first album after seeing her attempt to sing herself off the show.  How about Déjà vu?   Get it?  Brooke is a sweet person, but I do not see her ever having a successful music career.  I truly hope she finds another way to be successful that does not include playing in smoke-filled bars on the weekend, I do not know if she would survive in an environment like that.